Soca "Sulu"



Sulu was my first pet.
David gave him to me as a surprise.
We had really gone to look at Mastiff's cause I was convinced that i HAD TO HAVE ONE.
We went to the pet shop, and i'm there looking at all the dogs..on the floor covered in puppies.
For a woman with no kids...that's a wonderful thing.
Anyway, the girl at the store just opened the cages...
And he walked right over to me...
And sat in my lap..
Like he was supposed to be there...and he was..


When they told us how much he cost [Think PURE BRED , AKC registered, MALE puppy...or more like a month's rent]
I almost cried thinking i- have to leave him here in this awful cage..with these evil bastard dogs [that's what the mastiff's were by then]

And we left.With me bravely trying to act like it was no big deal.


Two days later David came home...Renee was here visiting..I remember being on the phone with her while I walked to the door...and there David stood with Sulu in his hands..

Priceless moment.

I spent the next couple of nights sleeping on the floor with himI remember david saying..aren;t you gonna come to bed...but he would cry and I would DIE!!

Needless to say, he charmed the pants off of everybody becasue he was so loving. Even MOMMY who thinks dogs should be in the yard and not in the house.

We had to lift him down the stairs the first couple of weeks.

And tricia fed him beer at Thanksgiving dinner... dont lie tricia i know you didand he grew so big, that he walked me not the other way around.

He chewed 17 pairs of my shoes in his lifetime..

And when my house turned into a mas camp, he was there, eating feathers and sh%^&*ing beads, that's when he got the name Soca Sulu, cause he ended up in our costume pictures.

and when he was lost my heart broke..
But i love you Sulu Shado Robley

Steups...The 30 something syndrome

So once again,...After making plans with the girls to go out...a birthday celebration none the less....everyone backs out. Shoot we plan to go out every weekend.....the strain of work makes us insist we NEED a drink, we need to chill out.. we scream and moan and cry that we cant wait for Friday ...for the weekend so we could relax and do something...we spend the day planning for the party...trying to find out what were gonna wear ...and what time were gonna meet up.

So why is that we invariably end up in bed???? Waiting on each other to call and the first one brave enough to say....im sleepy I don't want to go? Then its like the domino effect....the others fall over saying im tired too...Let's do sometime tomorrow...

sigh...

I guess were not the party people we used to be....

Walk Away

Any person who cannot acknowledge that you too are capable of dreams, Any person too selfish to see that you too have a soul, and a voice, and a vision for your lifeAnyone who cannot step out of themselves and see that......should be walked away from with no regret...only REJOICING!!!

May You Be Content

May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into our bones, and allow your soul the freedom to
sing, dance, praise and love.

I miss Renee

My sister is Renee. She’s four years younger than I am….and we look nothing alike. I’d like to think our personalities are similar, but they’re not. We’ve grown tremendously close in these last years…in fact I don’t function too well without her.

Of all the people in the world that I can understand or can understand me, it’s her. She may not understand the motivations behind my feelings, but she knows what is WITHIN my personality and can predict my responses and moods and reactions.

It’s the same with me. She is not a difficult person to understand…..more like complex….intricate….something that escapes even our mother sometimes.

People believe its something that distances her from other people. If they knew her…they would know that her distance… is her reaching out to you. She steps away when she needs you to step close. Strange? She is quite capable of coming out of whatever funk she’s in. She can more than adequately take care of herself and make hard decisions. And without a doubt she will do what her heart tells her to.

But the “mood’ is an indication. And, depending on the situation….and HOW WELL YOU KNOW HER…you “choose’ to approach and probe, or …jus leave her alone. She’s fiercely loyal to those she care about….and like me, is emotionally devastated when human beings turn out to be …you know…humans.

Anyways…I missed her today…again. I need a kick in the butt….she’s good at those

Turning 30 is Like Slippage...

for those non Stephen King readers.....slippage is the gradual disintegration of something...so slow that you barely notice it......it happens right in front of your eyes....but you dont notice it....till you can't fix it.... Young enough to know that SOME things are far behind you...Old enough to finally be aware of your own potential, purpose....and experienced enough to acknowledge that the things you had planned to do since you were a kid may never happen...

sigh..

I hate this friggin weather..

Can I say that here??????

When you hate, the only person who SUFFERS is you because half the people you hate DON'T KNOW IT and the other half DON'T CARE. That is something that I have come to learn and I think it's something to live by.

So to "anyone", anywhere who think you hate/dislike me I say this to you:

There is no need to talk about me because I'm not gonna hear it....
No need to look at me like you're trying to intimidate me cause I won't see you anyway,

So don't waste your time because either I don't know you hate me or I JUST DON'T GIVE A FUCK...hahaha (Y'all know who you are)

Elation

Rapture’s self is three parts sorrow.
Although we must die to-morrow,
Losing every thought but this;
Torn, triumphant, drowned in bliss.

Elation...

Ain't that the truth??

Expectations of Others

[From a blog that I'm phasing out]

I wonder sometimes if people act a certain way to make sure that they "appear" to be this person in your eyes. I would hope that my friends don't do that.
Mere acquaintances i dont care about.....but i would hate to think that the people i treasure for who they are ....are pretending to be who i THINK they are...

sigh...in all things...

Be yourself.... that way expectations for and of you will always be realistic.

Pleassssee

Can somebody play some parang??? SomeSignal Hill Alumni..."christmas coming yeah yeah yeah yeahhhh yeahhhhhhh "....

Im longing to hear bamboo bursting in the cool afternoons...When the days cleaning would finally slow down and the smell of lemon pledge and wood varnish would float out on the night air...

Im longing to smell fresh bread baking in the mornings...and see loaves of bread and sweetbread covered with towels and cooling on the counter. The days when pans of fruit sit soaking in rum....when the press for the pastels become the most prized possession and a day is dedicated to oiling it just right.... When the big decisions become...Olives or no...??

Im longing to walk into the market and smell the apples and grapes and pears on sale and KNOW...yes its Christmas in Trinidad... With vendors harassing you to buy their wares....when one just down the street would be selling the same thing...

I want to hear the box base and guitars playing in the neighbours house and know that soon it will be our turn to be the host.....When the rum in abundance in the cupboard will emerge...and the bucket of ice filled and the nuts and walnuts laid out....Its not Christmas without the cheese snacks for the kids...and the black cake for the adults.

OOOh that black cake....the recipes guarded like a honored possession...where sisters can tell the difference in who made the "batch" that were eating now....

I want to smell the ham baking in the oven...where children and adults alike keep turning the light on to peep at the skin...caramelizing in the oven...knowing that still there would be a wait while it cooled....but hoping that you were lucky enough to be around for the sample...

Can you remember the batter?? The left over goodness from the cakes?? who cared that the ingredients were raw?? The vanilla essence in that creamy batter was more than enough. Who can forget the smell of varnish and lemon pledge everywhere, the smell of fresh paint and linens brought out and left in the sun ....so that the very smell of them was island warmth.

This is the time of polishing silverware, or removing louvres, and cleaning cabinets. This was the time of lime on the cement outside the house, of polishing mahogany until you could see your face in it...Chores were aplenty...but it also meant opportunities to be good were too....
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