* Dusts Mike off**..2010

Tuesday, January 19, 2010 Clivia R 3 Comments

Hello?? Hello?? Is anyone out there??
Hmm there is some dust on this blog...and I’d like to apologize for that
What happened is ....what usually happens..
I got sooo overwhelmed with the machine that is a mas band..
That I barely had time to breathe much less blog...

But I’m back...
and NO ...I’m not going to Trinidad...
and not even commenting on it...
Maybe on the MUSIC....
Unless the evil jumbie that starts talking to me around now...
after I have made the single, sober, mature decision to not go to carnival..
and certain people tempting me ..thanks XoXo,...
But as of today...
I'm not going to Trinidad...

But I've also made another Major decision

After 13 plus years of being involved in Miami carnival as either a promoter, or section producer, or a full out mas band producer...
I...
gulp..
am taking a break in 2010..
and doing nothing...but observe...
Wear a costume...go to the fetes...see the people that I INVITE to Miami every year...

 I’m soo excited....
Already...there are people pressing me to change my mind...
And even I am a little nervous about sitting out...
I don’t know what that even feels like anymore..

But what has happened to me...
Is something I never believe COULD happen..
I started Resenting carnival..
Instead of looking forward to it with excitement and optimism...
I would see the "DRAMA"...the pressure to produce...the politics....the bad karma with contracts...
Yes the finished result was always worth it..

 but I think that until I rediscover my love for the spectacle
That it undoubtedly will affect MY creative process....
and I couldn’t intuit what my masqueraders would want....because I could place myself in the moment...and see what I would want..

For 2010 ....in terms of Miami Carnival..
I am on a well deserved break..
I think I want to play pan, enter the calypso competiton again....
and finally get to hang out with the sisters, and friends who have supported me with my mas endeavors for sooo many years...
Every year I send them off to the parties..
They call on me while I’m in the mas camp...
They come check on me,
Make sure I eat...
Calm me down when I spaz out...
.reassure me that my choices are good...and that they appreciate my efforts.
Come pick up passes to the SAME fetes that I wish I could go to...but I’m trapped ...
..Girls I love you... Judes, Dania, Rhina...I LOVE YOU :)

I’m excited...
and it means...that I have time as a true spectator...
to give so much more to this blog...
:)
So I can rediscover my love .....My mas...

yay me :)

3 comments:

empressnatts said...

Hey Its about time u got back...I was about to delete this blog off my system. I knw it is a hard decision cause I going through that right now ..but if you really want that..so be it..

Live Love Laugh!!!

Girl, take your break! You need this time off...I did the same last year and I had a ball...I'm probably going to do the same again this year too. I would like to get involved again, but I know that I have to build up an audience first, and I haven't reached that level yet. As for Trinidad carnival, well, you're not missing out on anything...girl my excitement goes as quickly as it comes. I have no kind of carnival fever in my veins at all. Maybe its because I'm not sure if I'm playing mas. Well I'm glad you're blogging...keep at it, because you're very good!

Judes said...

Awww, C!!! I love you too!!!

Whatever you decide to do, we will be there and support you. Sometimes, you just need to take time off to just BE!